


In Which Fury Gets a New Desk (Or Why Fury Really, Really Hates Loki)

by weird_situation



Series: In Which Loki's Shenanigans Give Fury a Headache [2]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-12
Updated: 2012-05-12
Packaged: 2017-11-05 05:59:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/403178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weird_situation/pseuds/weird_situation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki turns the Avengers into inanimate objects.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which Fury Gets a New Desk (Or Why Fury Really, Really Hates Loki)

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like I should be sorry for this. But I'm not. Blame [ilcocoabean](http://archiveofourown.org/users/ilcocoabean/pseuds/ilcocoabean) for Tony's transformation.

It wasn’t unusual to see Phil Coulson walking through the halls of SHIELD carrying dangerous alien devices or files full of information so classified only three people were allowed to actually read them. Seeing him walking through the halls with what appeared to be bubble wrap, however, was new.

Coulson walked past Fury’s secretary and entered the director of SHIELD’s office uninvited.

“Agent Coulson, may I inquire as to why you are carrying a roll of bubble wrap?” Fury raised an eyebrow at the other man.

“It’s Barton, sir.”

“Barton.”

“Yes, sir.” Coulson placed the bubble wrap, Clint, down on Fury’s desk. “He was in my office when the transformation occurred.”

“Any particular reason he was turned into bubble wrap?” Fury laced his hands together to keep from popping the bubbles. If he knew it wouldn’t have any adverse affects on Barton, Fury would have given into temptation.

“He was playing with bubble wrap at the time.” Coulson watched Fury clench his hands with a knowing expression.

“We should probably check on the other Avengers.”

“On it, sir.”

*

Darcy and Jane were freaking out. Where Thor once sat was a coffee mug.

“Holy shit,” Darcy said for the fourth time. Jane nodded in agreement. “Do we call someone?”

“Probably. But I think I need a drink first.”

“I’ll go find the tequila.”

*

Dummy beeped sadly and picked up the blowtorch that was formerly his creator. He placed it on the workbench and poked at it, continuing to beep in an attempt to communicate with Tony.

“I’ve contacted SHIELD. They’re sending someone now,” JARVIS said to Dummy.

Dummy whirred in acknowledgement and continued to forlornly pet the blowtorch.

*

In the kitchen, two apples laid on the floor. One was freakishly gigantic and appeared to be eating the smaller apple.

*

A junior SHIELD agent was sent down to retrieve Natasha. He held the throwing knife out in front of him as if it were about to stab him if given the opportunity. Given that the knife was Natasha, it was a valid concern.

*

Fury looked at his desk. He barked out “enter” when there was a knock at his door. Coulson and Darcy entered his office.

“Fucking Loki.” Fury shoved the newly objectified Avengers to the side of his desk and took the file Coulson handed him.

“Indeed, sir,” Coulson replied. Darcy giggled and reached for the bubble wrap. Coulson smacked her hand away.

“Ow,” she said pointedly as she rubbed her hand. It hadn’t really hurt, but it was the principle of the thing.

“We can’t be sure any damage done to them now won’t carry over to when they return to their human bodies. No popping Barton,” Coulson explained. 

Darcy grimaced and reached for Tony the blowtorch instead.

No one stopped her.

She turned it on and smiled at the flame. Fury moved the rest of the Avengers away from her, as Coulson subtly stepped away.

A knock came on the door.

“What?” Fury was irritated. An agent came in holding a teddy bear. Fury and Coulson blinked, while Darcy clapped a hand over her mouth, Tony tossed back on Fury’s desk in favor of giggling at the stuffed animal.

“Please tell me that is Dr. Banner,” Fury said.

The agent nodded.

“Good. It’d be weird if you guys just walked around with cuddle buddies. Although it probably would make SHIELD a more stress-free work environment,” Darcy said, smiling when Coulson and Fury frowned at her. “What? You can’t deny the truth.”

“She does have a point, sir.” Coulson smirked at Fury’s eye roll.

“Why is she even in here?” Fury asked as he reached out to take the teddy bear from the agent who had watched the exchange with wide eyes. “Dismissed,” he said to the man, and the agent quickly left the room.

“She can watch them while we find a cure. As they aren’t capable of mobility, Miss Lewis will be able to keep them safe and in one place, unlike last time.” Coulson gave Darcy a small glare, her innocent look not fooling anyone in the room. Taking Avengers who’d been turned into animals to the park was not acceptable, and Darcy knew that.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she sniffed, making grabby motions at Bruce bear. Fury raised his eyebrow and opened his mouth to ask if she was serious, but a flash of light interrupted him.

There was a loud cracking sound and splinters of wood went flying as the Avengers reverted back to their human (or Asgardian) forms.

Darcy started laughing hysterically, and even Coulson smiled as Bruce blushed bright red from his spot on Fury’s lap. He quickly hopped off and began brushing dust and debris from his clothing, ignoring everyone in the room. Fury wasn’t even phased.

“Fucking - whoever is on me needs to get off right now,” Tony’s voice came from the pile of rubble, underneath everyone else.

Darcy ignored the mass of writhing limbs on the floor in favor of pestering Bruce. “Why were you a teddy bear?”

“You were a teddy bear?” Clint interrupted, still laying on top of all the others (except for Natasha; she’d slid out of the pile like it was nothing and was currently fixing her clothing). The scientist nodded and looked at his shoes.

“Dude, don’t even. You were bubble wrap,” Darcy said.

“Well, yeah. Bubble wrap is cool.”

“As fascinating as this all is, I am still being crushed!” Tony yelled. It was more a wheeze than a yell to be perfectly honest.

“You’re a baby,” Steve said as he pushed Clint off of him and stood up, reaching a hand down to pull Thor off Tony.

“That may be true, but I was still being crushed.” Tony crossed his arms and pouted, still lying on the ground. He refused to take the hand Steve offered him.

“Still a baby,” Darcy said. Tony flipped her off. Steve frowned at him, and Tony carefully looked everywhere but Steve’s face.

“Go get checked out by medical, then debrief.” Fury shooed them out of his office and told his secretary to get him a new desk.

“I bet your life was so much less exciting before they showed up,” Darcy said to Fury, as they watched the team scramble out of the room.

Fury growled at her and she gave him a thumbs up before hurrying out the door.

“She’s right, you know,” Coulson said as he followed her. Fury hated them all. He hoped next time Loki turned them into something he changed Coulson and Darcy along with them. They deserved it.


End file.
